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I’ve Been Surviving My Whole Life; I Want to Start Living
Living with the Trauma When Healing from It Feels Impossible
It comes back in flashes, brief but unforgettable.
When I am unable to shake the memory, I am left with the same question:
Why did nobody intervene?
Probably because they were just as sick as the one handing out the abuse, so they thought it was okay.
The answer would have been lost on an unhealed version of me.
But the healing stages are like going up in an elevator made of bulletproof glass in a building with a hundred floors.
Every time you elevate you look down on where you were from slightly higher up and further back.
As you gaze at how far you’ve come, you can see more and more of your situation for how it is, instead of what you might have been trained to believe or how it might have seemed through trauma at the time.
The more levels you climb, the more of the true picture you can see, until finally, you can see it all.
Unhealed trauma is like a kaleidoscope; it fragments our experiences, distorting our perception and making the mundane seem unfamiliar and terrifying.
