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A Narcissist Must Devalue You for This 1 Weird Reason

The Real Reason Behind Devaluation

Honor Payne
3 min readAug 6, 2024
Devalued and alone.
Photo by Kirandeep Singh Walia Courtesy of Pexels

The devaluation phase comes on so suddenly after the love bombing that it’s quite a shock to the system when it happens. But why do narcissists do it, and what is going on in their minds when they do?

The narcissist must devalue their partner because their brightness, beauty, talents, and intelligence are a threat to the narcissist’s grandiosity and the false self.

When people act normally around the narcissist it annoys them because when they do that it fails to adhere to the perfect image of their partner that they have in their head.

Most of what they think about you is imagined and made up just like the false self, but more importantly, it is always good and it has no flaws.

When this work of fiction fails to be perfectly superimposed onto the real-life model, catastrophe happens in the narcissist’s mind as the two no longer match. The logical thing for someone in this situation would be to admit to making a mistake about this person. They aren’t who you thought they were, grieve the loss and move on.

But a narcissist can’t admit fault, not to anything. To do so would be to admit imperfection which would invalidate both the delusion and the false self which would…

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Honor Payne
Honor Payne

Written by Honor Payne

Your daily dose of jargon busting psychology. Explore the secrets of the dark triad and become a master at dealing with difficult people.

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